A weekend of extremes

As I type this, I am sitting in the Montreal airport, heading home after an overnight trip to PEI. E's sister's mother-in-law passed away, and since E couldn't get off work so quickly I went in his stead. It was a lovely funeral service- one of the kinds where if you had never heard the salvation message before, you sure heard it there. But still funerals are always hard, no matter the circumstances. I had only met this woman once, but I liked her instantly, and although I do not personally grieve her passing very much, I grieve for my family. It is so hard to watch ones you love in pain and know there is nothing much you can do except be there. This lady had been married to her husband for 51 years- they were best friends, and although he knew their parting is only temporary, he misses her terribly. And their one son was so very close to her. Hard.

And through it all, I am supressing tremendous joy. The last time I sat in the Montreal airport- yesterday- I checked my e-mail to find pictures of our new daughter from South Africa! The referral came through in record time- three days after ministry approval. We travel in June! I am already in love with her - her pictures show a happy little girl with a glint of mischief in her eyes- something I am very familiar with in the boys. I think she'll make out very fine with two older brothers. She will be 3 on June 12, so we may be able to celebrate her birthday with her- what a way to start our life together!

Now that the funeral is over, I feel free to revel in the happiness that the Lord has led us to- and in a shorter time period than we ever could have imagined. Glad he didn't decide to test my patience here! There is SO much to do before June- paint and furnish a bedroom, get everything we need for a new child, finish school, figure out what to do with the pets while we're gone, the list goes on. But how can I worry? God has worked everything out so far, I think he'll look after these last minute details.

Friends are Friends Forever and other tacky songs

I am so blessed. Found out last night that a friend of mine is going to have a shower for me when we know the age of our little girl and any other details so that people can help me get what we need for this little one (which is pretty much everything...) It never occurred to me that I would ever have another shower (aside from the kind I have in the morning while I hope the boys aren't destoying the house...) I was kind of blown away, that someone would think of that.

I am also wondering at this moment what goes through a cat's mind. As I type this, Max is sitting on my lap with his two front paws up on the computer desk looking intently at the screen. I wonder if he thinks the cursor is a bug that he needs to hunt. Hopefully he won't pounce any time soon. He has taken to sitting on my lap whenever it interferes with something I'm doing- writing in my journal, doing crossed-stitch or knitting (and if he's not sitting on my work, he's sitting on the pattern). Oh, and then there's the moths on the outside of the window at night. Hear that Max? They're on the OUTSIDE. It doesn't matter how many times you jump at the window to try to get them, they WILL thwart you every time. Besides, I don't know how many more times my table lamp can get knocked over and survive.

The latest adoption news is that we will probably be travelling in July. Our agent is expecting ministry approval within 1 1/2 weeks or so, and very shortly after that we should get our referral. The orphange from which we will be adopting is a Christian orphanage who only places children with Christian families. How nice is that? And because these kids are just waiting there, the mission has asked the ministry to put a rush on our home study. A process that we thought would take 2 + years has taken only 6-7 months. Gotta be a God thing. I have started to get Kaylah's (Kayla's, Keilah's, Keila's- any other suggestions, anyone?) room ready. The boys are moved into one room and today I started taping the lines to paint pink stripes on top of the red paint. Man, I hope this doesn't look horrible. I probably won't have time to paint it twice. I'm not touching paint to walls until I know without a doubt that it's a girl, so it will be a quick job when the time comes. So much for my relaxing summer before the trip in the fall. I've even had to find adoptive parents for my veggie seedlings I started. No sense planting them only to be gone for 3 weeks of the growing season and coming back to find them all dead. So I have found a good home for them, and I have been promised that I can share in the harvest when the fall. Hopefully my friend has a greener thumb than I do.

Silver linings

So I look out my bathroom window Saturday morning and I see a clump of yellow things in my woods. I think to myself "those look like daffodils". I sent W out to check on them and they were, indeed about 15-20 daffodils growing in the middle of my woods. No idea how they got there. I figured I never noticed them last year as they were behind what was still burnt rubble. So I head out with my wheelbarrow and shovel, all ready to re-locate the lovely flowers to my front garden where they can be enjoyed. As I started to dig, loving the rich earth in my forest, I realized, it was VERY rich- literally black. Then I noticed it wasn't earth. It was burnt ash. These daffodils had been by the old house. I have no idea how they came to be moved into the woods. No burnt rubble had been put that far back. No plants that had been resuced had been moved into that area. Simply put, God even saw fit to save my daffodils.

Now I know that may sound silly, but I like to think that He knew how much that would make me smile. It's another one of the little blessings that have come out of this.

And I am completely in love with this time of year on our property. I think I missed it last year. We were still settling in to the trailer, and I really didn't appreciate the beauty of the forest while our previous home was in shambles and blocking the view of the woods. I really didn't go in there much last year. Already we're living outdoors every chance we get.

Lots of people have been asking me about the adoption. Things are moving right along. I actually got a call from our agent today, and she said that we need to send in our next chunk of money earlier than she realized. Our file hasn't been approved by the ministy (government) yet, but the head of the mission that we're working with is going away for May and wants to get our file sent off to South Africa before we go. Apparently this is VERY unusal, as it's never sent until after ministry approval is received, but she didn't want any delays while she was gone. Now here's the weird part. My understanding is that as soon as it's approved and sent to South Africa, we can get matched with a child. So if the person at the mission is anticipating that we will receive approval during May, and then all that is lacking is for us to be matched and travel a few weeks later, this may happen even earlier than we had thought- which was already earlier than we had thought at first! So now I wonder if we'll get through the summer before we go to SA. There is a trip out east planned that may be jeopardized... getting ahead of myself again. At least I know we'll be able to go to the wedding- that is not to be comprimised- but here I go again, ruining the family picture that we get done there(every one we have had done has been made out-of-date shortly thereafter by the birth, and now adoption of a child).

For now I'll wait for the phone call, spend time in my garden with my rescued flowers, and dream of life with a little girl.

Remembering

Today is weird. It was a year ago that our world turned upside down. Yesterday was acutally harder for me, as it was a Thursday last year. Today is just weird. I'm remembering what I was doing last year this time- in my housecoat still in bed at B2's, listing of everything we owned and going through the bags and bags of clothes that people kindly gave us. I still think of their generosity every time I wear one of my hand-me-downs, although I don't know who most of it came from. The last year has been awesome, and I wouldn't trade it (except maybe for some days in the trailer- hee hee). But it was a hard time. It will always be there, I suspect. Some people just get it. A good friends told me yesterday she'd been thinking of me all day. Others don't even remember that it's been a year. Which doesn't bother me- it's not their life, so I realize it doesn't affect them nearly so much. But those who remember without me saying anything. Who know that in some ways I still miss the way things were. Not that I'm ungrateful. We are so blessed, and without the fire, I don't know that we'd be adopting.

The worst of it is the irrational fear lurking that it will happen again. Today. It's not consuming me, but it's there. We have to go out later today, and just as when we went out yesterday, I am quietly wondering if the house will still be here when we get back. Silly, I realize. But it's just knowing that stuff like this can happen when you least expect it. Not that I am not trusting- I know that if anything like that were to happen again, God would provide, but I don't really want to go there again.

I will be glad when today is over. Vacaion comes next week, and we are all looking forward to a break. The last time we went away, we were in our old house, oblivious to what the year would bring. I don't even want to guess at what this year will bring- it'll be great, but I know that my speculation wouldn't even come close to the mark. I'll just hang on and enjoy the ride.

technologically challenged

So I've posted a new blog- but I inadvertantly did it on E's blogsite. Oopsie. So click the link for "Unfinished" to read my blog. :)

Killing Time

So I'm at "work" with nothing to do. I guess I just type too fast. My "boss" is in a meeeting and I don't want to disturb her, but I have completed the list I was given this morning. (Acutally I completed it an hour ago and have been poking around ever since.) I'm not going to bother leaving early as I have to pick hubby up after work and then go to the garage to pick up our car. Why is noone on msn when I'm bored at work?

All this time leaves me pondering the big questions of life. What does one renovate when one lives in a brand new house? I am contemplating a tile backsplash in the kitchen. Then there's the basement- what was an easy decision has been complicated by the future plans for a fourth bedroom down there. W is very excited that he'll get to sleep in the basement in a couple of years. We have a makeshift den set up there now with an old couch and a new TV (oh by the way, goaliemom, we got a good deal on a TV!) and a soon to arrive eliptical. The next step is actual walls and a floor. I just don't know where the walls are going any more. And now that we're adopting, we don't have the money to do the whole thing anymore- ah yes, back to life on a budget.

We think- for the twentieth time- that we have made up our minds about which country we're going to pick- we're back to Thailand, and pretty soon it'll be too late to change our minds.

Meeting is done- gotta go

Once again my hubby has brought his work home with him. It's kind of a joke around here, our way of saying that we're getting sick. I guess it's an occupational hazard when you're a pharmacist and come into contact with every bug out there. I'm just thanking my lucky stars it's not the barfing flu. It all started Thursday afternoon when W said he had a headache- he NEVER gets headaches. By that evening he was running a nice little fever and has lost his appetite. Yesterday he was rosy cheeked and hot upon waking and had very little energy all day. It calmed down in the afternoon and then did the usual suppertime spike. Thankfully, he slept all night, but this morning has a fever and headache again.

This morning, hubby woke up and his first words were, "where's the Advil?". So he remains in bed as well with a drink by his side feeling pretty yucky. It's just me and J, and I'm so thankful. If there's anyone in this house that I don't want getting sick, it's J. Not that he's high risk for anything- except drama. When W is sick, he's such a trooper. He just kind of lays around, has lots of naps, and likes to watch TV and play computer. When E is sick he's your typical sick grown man- needs lots of TLC, but as long as I keep him comfy enough up in bed and keep him medicated, he's pretty low maintenance (although I have always wondered why guys get to go to bed when they're sick and moms still do mom stuff). J is a different story- the drama goes to a whole new level when he's sick. It would really be quite funny if it wasn't so annoying. His whole world is ending. He walks around looking as pathetic as he can, just moaning about nothing in particular. I SO hope he doesn't get this flu.

Off to check on the sickies- so much for the family trip to Wal-Mart today.